zines currently in print
phases of the moon #4: what matters most is how well you walk through the fire
(Dec 2010, 8 pages, size 4.5"x6", US$1-2ppd)
description: 5 black&white photos & a short essay about supporting my Friend through a frightful alcohol detox. It's also about having some kind of faith and being defiantly hopeful in the face of utter madness. & as a brag-worthy anecdote, the essay was rejected from a more professional literary quarterly for being "too intense."
excerpt: "Once while he slept in a drunken haze I scrawled my prayers in pen on his sharp angelic shoulderblades, as if these things matter. There was a time when my Holy Signs spoke to me: the Moon, the Key, the Hand, the numbers Ten and Twenty-Three. I thought I could read the future in my coffeegrounds and chewed cuticles; I thought that these things mattered, like tubes and wires connecting everything to everything else,..."
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reviews: "Stacey-Marie once again writes an honest zine that makes you feel possibly uncomfortable but hopeful. She includes photographs alongside an essay about assisting a friend through alcohol detox & the emotional toll being there for someone else can have on us. In the end we're all left wondering if we matter."
--Taryn Hipp @
Philly Feminist Zine Fest
"In her latest zine, Stacey-Marie shares a single story. And oh boy, it's a powerful one. She writes of someone she loves having an alcohol induced seizure & the aftermath in the hospital. But she shares more than just the details of what happened to him. Instead, she also explains what it's like, for her, to watch this take place, knowing that it's happened several times before. Stacey-Marie's writing is gorgeous & striking, & I often found myself pausing at the end of a paragraph to take it in. It's a short, heartbreaking tale of what it's like to love & support an alcoholic, and I appreciate Stacey-Marie's willingness to share it."
--Heather @
Stranger Danger
phases of the moon #3: take yr bones apart & put them back together
(Feb 2008, 28 pages, half-legal-sized, US$2-5ppd)
description: twelve short stories & photographs, one for each month of 2007. the underlying theme is mainly that of space, as related to home, travelling, relationships, limits, love, friendship, comfort, security, support, and asserting one's self. there are stories about alcohol, lady-love, revisiting childhood landmarks, going on tour, living in a punkhouse, packratting, new orleans, and hesitant involvement with boys.
excerpt: "It took a few years, hopping from couch to cheap room, from city to city, wandering & backtracking until my feet felt even tentatively planted in the ground. Another six months to begin stretching vines & growing roots. Forcing myself to survive the winter although even minor emergencies sent me on walks to the bus station with only my wallet & a pack of cigarettes in my coat pocket. Finally, I no longer feel the urge to run for escape every time I get stressed out & anxious, but even still, I have an envelope of money & a change-of-address form hidden in my desk. Just in case. I feel I am approaching the asymptote of total comfort, but experience has taught me to keep the possibility tucked in the back of my mind that everything could fall apart at any moment, easily, without warning, without apology or consideration. It's more a sense of preparedness than worry; I don't expect things to fall apart, but I know that they can, and in my fuckedup cynical view, I know I can't depend on anyone but myself for a sense of safety & security."
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reviews: "This issue of Stacey-Marie's zine is subtitled 'Take Yr Bones Apart & Put Them Back Together' which doesn't really make sense until you read her zine. If you aren't familiar with POTM it is the most honest perzine you'll ever read. It tears at your heart & makes you ache but not always in a painful way. Stacy-Marie is able to write about things like travel & communal living in a way that makes me want to do them again, even all these years after swearing I never would. She writes often about relationships including her relationship (& fear involved) with her birth daughter whom she gave up for adoption. I've been a huge fan of this zine for so long. It's text-heavy & heart-heavy, it's everything you want in a perzine."
--Taryn Hipp @
Philly Feminist Zine Fest
"each of stacey-marie's zines are really different from each other, but they're all really good. i love it when a zinester can make such unique zines on each outing, focusing on the things that interest them most at the moment. that's the kind of approach that keeps zine-making interesting & exciting. stacey-marie has decided to use her most recent issue as a forum for her photography. she re-prints a bunch of her photographs here, big enough to take up a page each by themslves so you can see a lot of detail even in black & white photocopies, & wrote a story (all true, all in great personal zine style) to go with each one. she writes about her relationship with her boyfriend (not in a boring emo way; in a slice of life charming way), the new punk house she helped start & the rhythms she developed with her roommates so everyone can take care of each other, stories about her friends, stories about going out drinking, squatting in new orleans, a friend's wedding ceremony in pittsburgh, living wth children & how it changes the dynamic of a punk house, & a lot more. the stories here could stand on their own--they're really evocative & well-written. but contextualized with the photographs--something about the images just makes you care more. i was very impressed by the maturity of this zine. stacey-marie writes about her interest in documentation, & that really comes through with this project."
--Ciara @ Learning to Leave a Paper Trail
"Stacey-Marie invites us back into her occassionally beautiful world of punk houses, secret lovers, alcohol-fueled adventures and powerful friends. She bridges her two loves together, photography and writing, into this latest issue. It is stunning to look at, while her writing transports us to a world filled with possibility and forgotten disappointments. From going 'home' to finding a home, getting married and going on tour, Stacey-Marie delivers another dreamy issue. Subtitled, 'take yr bones apart & put them back together,' Stacey-Marie seems to do just that. Each piece of writing is seperate from the next, but it all bridges together her hopes, struggles and dreams in accordance with her political ideals. Stunning photographs and gorgeous writing."
--LB @
Stranger Danger
phases of the moon #2.5: living on a dead end street
(Mar 2007, 20 pages, quarter-sized, US$1ppd)
description: limited print run, vellum covers. pieced together from journal entries & letters & photographs made during mardi gras in new orleans, february 2007.
excerpt: "coffee in the morning, with vanilla soymilk to the brim & two heaping scoops of thick crystal cane sugar. i only just started drinking coffee this week, and despite years of lamenting the inherent uncoolness of my inability to consume such a bitter beverage, it feels perfectly natural & necessary now. rattling bones, scratchy voice, black mold & rats in the walls. lately, my fingers have been itching for a cigarette--purely an oral fixation, a way for my fingers to calm my twitching nerves; i've never smoked a cigarette in my life. yes, i could live in this city, now. with its cracked sidewalks and defiant post-katrina survival stories still spraypainted in secret codes on front doors."
phases of the moon #2: i'm ready to grow young again
(Jan 2007, 36 pages, quarter-sized, US$2ppd)
description: reconciling my past with the present, resisting burnout, recapturing the fearlessness & wonderment of childhood, dealing with post-partum/adoption grief & depression, leaving chicago, new romance in georgia.
excerpt: "David & I are sitting on his front porch. It is January and it is sixty-five degrees outside and I am happy to be back in the dirty sweet south. We are listening to Gogol Bordello: in the old times, in the old times, in the old times it was not! a! crime! He's smoking; I'm reading Howard Zinn. 'We should build a time machine,' he says. I put my book down & look purposefully at the precarious stack of cardboard boxes in the corner. 'Absolutely!' This is a year of yesses, and I speak in absolutes."
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reviews: "stacey-marie seems a little more in her element in this second issue of her most recent foray into personal zines, which is subtitled 'i'm ready to grow young again' & features a cover drawing of a tree swing. text-heavy & told in one long narrative block that is broken up into chronological & thematic chunks, this zine finds stacey back in athens, where she gave birth to her daughter. the first issue of this zine contains details on that & her decision to give the baby up in an open adoption. stacey & her partner have since moved back to athens from chicago to be closer to their child & some writing here is about the aftermath of the adoption decision, including some hard questions about potentially regretting the choice. but there are also stories here about the anarchist & punk scenes stacey has immersed herself in now that she is in georgia, interspersed with childhood recollections on topics like growing up catholic, body image & shame, & being a voracious reader. these reminiscences are used as guide posts as stacey struggles to figure out her politics & come to terms with her chosen sub-cultural identities. this is a pretty sweet & engaging perzine in the style of a person doing some pretty challenging self-reflection & trying to have fun along the way."
--Ciara @ Learning to Leave a Paper Trail
"This is a terrific follow-up to Phases of the Moon #1, the zine written about an unexpected pregnancy from both the father's and mother's perspectives. In #2, Stacey Marie writes alone and compiles a very thoughtful and well-written personal essay about 'growing young again,' following the birth of her daughter and process of giving her up for adoption. This essay includes an introspective look at Stacey Marie's desire to move and relocate and travel and celebrate life. A very engaging personal zine."
--Taylor @
Parcell Press
"This second issue deals with the aftermath of Stacey's decision to put her child up for adoption. We find Stacey reclaiming the forms of empowerment she knew in her youth, relearning to love her body, and standing up for herself. Her writing is filled with nostalgia and dreams for the future. It is text-heavy, well-written and pretty inspiring. It seems like leaving Chicago was good for Stacey, as this issue of zine seems like she is in a much better place in Georgia. This is about her time to relearn, to enjoy her youth again, to stop regretting the decisions she has made and to DO THINGS FOR HERSELF. It is really good to read this and feel her regaining her passion for writing, for her new home, and for her life. And you can't but help feel re-energized by her decision to start sticking up for herself."
--LB @
Stranger Danger
"I very much enjoyed this personal zine about one girl's experience trying to find herself throughout all her trials and tribulations, traveling, having a baby (and giving it up for adoption), boys, depression, confusion, etc. Brief yet well written, sad but hopeful, touching and engaging, a bittersweet treat!"
--P.5! @
Zine World #25.5
phases of the moon #1: RESISTANCE IS FERTILE
(Sept 2006, 92 pages, half-sized, US$3ppd)
description: more than a year had passed since my last zine, and in that year much had changed. specifically, my then-partner zan & i gave birth to a baby girl and subsequently gave her up for adoption. this zine is a chronicle of that year, written from the perspectives of both zan and myself. aside from describing the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects of pregnancy, childbirth, and adoption, we also touch on many other topics in this account, including: feminism, the medical (mis)management of birth, poverty, the history of adoption, radical parenting, birth control, making reproductive choices readily available to women, and cultivating supportive and strong communities. the revised second edition (October 2007) includes a Frequently Asked Questions section which clarifies & explains many important issues raised in the original writing, & contains a 1-Year-Later epilogue describing the post-adoption grieving/healing/growing process. also it's been retyped and laid out on a computer for easier readability.
excerpt: "One night, in December, we felt the baby move. It was small and strange, a nervous butterfly deep in my gut. Alex & I laid on the couch, our hands on my belly. I cried a little, quietly, because it was beautiful & terrifying. 'I have a baby in here,' I thought. 'This is real.'"
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reviews: In short, most people have told me that this zine makes them cry, "but in a good way." It has also been described as "brilliant," "excellent," and "beautiful" by friends and strangers alike. I've received some amazing letters in response, and I am thrilled that I've gotten such great feedback as well as so many opportunities for good conversation and new friendships. So if that's not enough to convince you to give this one a shot, here are some more comprehensive reviews:
* chosen as one of 2006's Best Zines Ever!:
"Of all the zines I read this year, this one touched me the most. Perhaps because I have never read anyone write a zine about open adoption before, or to go so in depth about the time during pregnancy, as well as birth, with a couple's perspective. I think this zine raises many questions, as well as sharing experiences for growth; and might be of particular interest to young twenty-year-olds in the anarcho-punk scene: as that is the scene they travel in, as well as anyone who is interested in Pro-choice issues. (For one, because adoption is a less explored choice in radical parenting literature. But also because Stacey Marie examines factors, such as poverty and lack of community support, which impact a woman's right to choice.) In a way, I think 'Resistance is Fertile' is also a coming of age story (there are many coming of age stories along our life, don't you think?). Groundbreaking, sometimes heartbreaking, brave, honest, beautiful, radical and well written."
--China @
The Future Generation, in
Best Zine Ever! #5
"I could NOT put this zine down. I stayed up two hours past my bedtime to finish this real life story. Stacey and Zan detail how they managed to deal with an unwanted pregnancy and how it changed them and their relationship forever. It is gut-wrenchingly honest, poignant, and a study in courage.
Phases frankly discusses their struggles with family, punk friends, the medical establishment, and poverty. It was great to get both female and male perspectives. I couldn't wait to find out how it all turned out. This zine isn't just for people who are pregnant or have kids. It's for anyone who understands how scary and confusing it can be to listen to one's own voice and try to live authentically. Stacey added a frequently asked questions section in the back and a suggested reading list. Amazing. Highly recommended."
--Anu @
Zine World #25.5
* chosen as
zine of the week, Nov 26 - Dec 3, 2006 at The Unofficial SUNY New Paltz Traveling Zine Library!
"A strong read with some concrete ideas to tie it together."
--
Microcosm
"Stacey Marie and Alexander take turns writing their 'story about the year we got pregnant & made the decision to give our baby up for adoption.' This is a highly engaging, interesting read about a very personal and shared experience. The intentions in writing this zine -- to reach out to other young parents, to explain adoption, and to express and explain the thoughts and feelings of the entire process -- are so well-executed that this zine is very difficult to come away from untouched. Recommended."
--Taylor @
Parcell Press
"Where do I begin when describing this zine? There's sort of a lot going on. Phases of the Moon is essentially a journaled-out recollection of the pregnancy and birthing process. The zine alternates its entries, allowing both Stacie [sic] and Alexander to give their own versions, of each event. Having two perspectives on such an important experience gives a full range of thoughts and feelings, as Stacie [sic] and Alexander, a pair of homeless vegan punk rock kids, try to learn about life and make some of the most difficult choices they've ever had to make. Excitement, fear, anticipation, depression, joy, and every other emotion seem to make an appearance at some point as they work their way through the pregnancy, the birthing, and the ultimate decision to give their child up for adoption. All these things make this zine very personal. But at the same time there is a lot of information packed in here which gives the zine a very political slant as well. Information and discussion about the medical industry, the ways in which pregnant women are treated within a patriarchy, and other such topics pop up every few pages, forcing you to not only understand the specific situation of these two people, but also question the entire medical system in our country. This is one of the more unique zines I've read in awhile, and while some may not agree with all the decisions and opinions that take place within it, I think everyone can appreciate the chance to hear someone's story and think about some pretty important topics."
--Billy @ Loop Distro
"Partners Stacey and Alexander document their emotions during Stacey's unintended pregnancy and the subsequent adoption of their daughter, in this text-heavy journal style zine. Really honest and insightful, the most open portrayal of reproductive options I have read in a while. This is a really powerful zine that even warmed my baby-hating heart. Not only does this zine open the door into Stacey and Alexander's relationship, it educates us on the adoption process, midwives, homebirthing and non-invasive fertility awareness methods. It criticizes our culture that restricts mothers' bodies and choices for home-delivery. It doesn't hold back for a second on the process of carrying the baby to term, even unabashedly sharing embarrassing details about doubts of strength and fecal matter. Expectant mothers, curious bystanders and general haters should get this zine!"
--LB @
Stranger Danger Distro
"stacey-marie & alexander are a young anarchist punk couple who made this zine together as a document of their unexpected pregnancy & choice to give the baby up in an open adoption. in a very text-heavy typewritten account, they take turns explaining the whole process from the beginning: how they met, how they got pregnant, the options they ran through when they found out, how their relationship struggled during the pregnancy, settling on a birth plan, finding the couple that wound up taking the baby, the birth, the adoptive parents taking the baby home, & their eventual move to chicago. i decided to carry this zine because i have found that adoption as an option for coping with an unexpected pregnancy is not really discussed that much, but it can be just as wrenching or empowering as any other choice. essentially, i found the story unique & wanted to provide a forum for it. this is not an anti-abortion zine, although i do feel compelled to warn readers that there are a few passages that veer dangerously into anti-abortion sentiment while stacey-marie describes the decision-making process that inspired her to opt for adoption. although she takes great pains to assure the reader that she is not anti-abortion in the least, i still found my skin crawling a little bit. but if you take that part with a grain of salt & enjoy the story for what it is, it's really worth reading, especially for those folks with a particular interest in reproductive health, childbirth, alternative parenting, & the like. as a former midwifery student, there were definitely a few times when i had to put the zine down & take a few deep breaths. it's hard to listen to stories of seven-month pregnant ladies realizing they have absolutely no birth plan whatsoever & newborn infants being fed soy formula. but hey, shit happens. consider it part-yarn, part-cautionary tale, if you wish. all the writing is quite engaging; stacey-marie's & alexander's personalities really shine through on to the page."
--Ciara @ Learning to Leave a Paper Trail
Ephemera #3 : phases of the Moon
(Jul 2005, 16 pages, quarter-sized, US$1ppd)
description: this issue is about nostalgia, travelling, ghosts, & love. i wrote it in two days during my hitchhiking summer 2005.
excerpt: "We believe photographs are truth because no one wants to admit that the eye--even a mechanical eye--can betray the mind. No one likes to question what she clearly sees in front of herself. The brain, with its amazing capability to think about itself, fears incorrectly perceiving the truth. (The brain forgets, though, that Truth is not always static.) I ws afraid to try and photograph the ghost because my truth was that it wasn't made of a dead person, but of the undercurrent of tension we'd been transferring to one another. Instead I developed cemeteries and rock stars, lovers and lost cities, hanging photographs to dry at six o'clock in the morning when the birds sang and I felt so utterly drained."
Ephemera #2 : the angels have been drinking
(Mar 2005, 24 pages, quarter-sized, US$1ppd)
description: this issue records my experience of mardi gras 2005 in new orleans.
excerpt: "Fred convinced me to cook a steak in my greatly intoxicated, easily-flammable state. There was only one frying pan...and it was full of congealed lard and day-old bacon. Needless to say I was quite nervous about the whole affair...but he explained that that's how southern cookin' is done, you just fry up whatever the hell's in the pan & it'll have to be delicious."
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review: "A trip to New Orleans for Mardi Gras serves as the primary focus of this issue, which gives us a clearer picture of where we're going. With her rambling style, Stacey Marie tells stories of hanging out on the French Quarter, getting drunk with friends, watching bands play, and seeing the vibrant local color. This reads very much like a travel diary, and the attention to detail adds a great deal of richness. The photographs also add a great deal in conveying the experience of this trip. Stacey Marie's zine lives up to its title, encapsulating ephemeral experience into memories for the reader. For those who like reading of others' travel, this zine is very much work a look."
--AR @
Bibliotheque / Lunar Circuitry
Ephemera #1 : space-time continuum
(Feb 2005, 16 pages, quarter-sized, US$1ppd)
description: this is a loosely-connected collection of tales linking the cities of pittsburgh, chicago, and new orleans.
excerpt: "My favorite moments of love are those in which restraint was required. The most intense moments are when the barrier is broken only slightly--when our fingers slip through that irrational NOmaybeit's-not-right and the fingertips touch...my bitten bloody fingernails on his perfect skin. I am wanting. That desire is all-powerful. The longing is what I want; the hands, sidelong glances and secrets, each word charged with significance, real or imagined. Neat, precise handwriting due to sleep-deprivation and daydreaming. Give me this perpetual lack of consummation I WANT IT. Lines and hips and just one kiss."
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review: "As the subtitle suggests, this zine is concerned primarily with time and space. In each brief vignette, Stacey Marie tells stories of places she's lived in and memories that meant a great deal to her. In 'Old Uncle Hawkeye,' her first tattoo recalls her first visit to a tattoo parlour at he age of 8: 'At the time, I was unaware that tattooing could be a legitimate profession, so it was only natural for us to be parking the car in a weed-choked yard surrounding a run-down shack. I asked no questions while I gazed in awe at the flash sheets taped to the wood-panelled walls of...some guy's living room.' She tells more stories of love and growing up, with a rambling stream-of-consciousness style that manages to be engaging and lyrical, though sometimes lacking in focus. The briefness of each passage makes for quick reading overall. This is text-heavy and the quality of the photographs included is rather wanting (I suspect printing issues), but the intimacy and strength of the writing makes for good reading."
--AR @
Bibliotheque / Lunar Circuitry