Phases of the Moon #6: "the hope that house built"
January 2021, 40 pages, half letter size. US$8ppd., available via Etsy.
21 photos + a reflective essay about trauma & punk.
excerpt: "This is an archive, but perhaps not entirely an ode to house shows that took place in Athens, Georgia, from 2007-2012. It's tempting to frame the collection as a devotional hymn to human contact — what better time than our seemingly-endless quarantine to sing the praises of sweaty skin slipping against strangers swimming through a miasma of alcohol and wild abandon? But for me, this feels more like an excision. I feel(fear) sometimes like I've spent 15 years gathering material for a retrospective which would finally explain All This — my stacks of notecards, rough drafts, and false starts tacked upon the wall under a web of red string like some conspiracy theory: See? This is where it happened. Trying to find a way back, as it were, to a time before trauma."
Phases of the Moon #5: Broken Bicycle & A Ruined Love Life
May 2014, 120 pages, half letter size. US$10ppd., email re: availability.
Two or five or maybe seven years in the making, this zine is about being in an abusive relationship with an alcoholic and subsequently escaping. It is about trauma and memory and addiction and "recovery" (and may be triggering).
excerpt: "I was drinking when I first met him; it seemed like everyone was drinking. In the first months of our relationship, I took him to the bar to play drunkbingo and fall off chairs, we went to houseshows and sneaked pulls from bottles of rotgut hidden in bathrooms. We went to a party where I wanted to show him off; I wanted all my girlfriends to approve. We sat on the rooftop and took swigs of cheap whiskey and listened to Outkast and lit bottlerockets. I tried to match him shot for shot — I tried to keep up. If I could drink that much and hold myself together, then maybe he's not that bad off after all. I ended up puking in the bathtub all night. He held my hair back and washed my face, helped my girlfriends drag me to a couch, and then he slept outside in the dirt and when I woke up he was gone."
reviews: "Phases of the Moon is probably one of the most heartbreaking and familiar zines I've come to read this year. This particular issue is a recount of the true story of author Stacey-Marie's five-year-long abusive relationship to an alcoholic. From her writing, you can tell that this woman is incredibly articulate and smart; self-aware of the fact that she is in a relationship with an alcoholic, but unable to see a way out of it. Her partner manipulates, lies, and threatens her to keep her in the relationship—tactics that any person who has experienced, or knows someone who has experienced abuse, will be familiar with. At times it was hard to read, being familiar with alcoholics and abusers. I just wanted to save her and get her out of it. Smart writing, 120 pages of truth and struggle; this is an issue for anyone who feels trapped in an abusive relationship, or if you want to read how this strong author eventually got out."
– Tricia at Razorcake (featured in issue #87)
"It's really beautiful. It's disturbing, smart, and good. The writing is fantastic.
It's memoir with interspersed quotes from other texts. I preferred Stacey-Marie's words to the quotes, but I did value some quotes that explained abuse bonding. They were insightful.
I grew up as a child of an alcoholic—I am familiar with alcoholism from a child's perspective. I never thought about my mom's perspective very deeply—I didn't dare.
So this zine was triggering for me. Just when I thought the story couldn't get any more disturbing, it did. Around page 50, I felt sick. Around page 80, I told Ming, 'This zine is killing me.'
(We were walking down the street, walking through sunlight, away from the cafe where I'd been reading. I felt stuck in a nightmare, disoriented, and unwell. But good writing can do that to me...)
And the ending is worth it. And I could relate to the speaker a lot. These are two quotes I loved from toward the end, ideas I've thought about over and over, through the years.
'Was that my true self? What does a "true self" even mean if we can so easily change based on our surrounding environment?'
'I felt like if I accepted the disease model of alcoholism, then I would have to accept that all the fucked-up behaviors resulting from addiction were merely symptoms of a impersonal disease.'
I noticed some repetition in the storytelling, but it seemed okay there—the repetition worked—that's how we think.
It's text-heavy but there's some visual art that definitely adds to the experience.
Overall I loved this zine and recommend it to anyone who's strong enough to read about abuse. And I wish Stacey-Marie lots of readers and success."
"In the 120 text-heavy pages that make up this zine (which, let's face it, is pretty much a book) Stacey-Marie recounts the five year relationship she had with an abusive alcoholic partner & how she was able to eventually escape it. It's oftentimes difficult to read, littered with incidents of manipulation & violence, & yet it also functions as a record of how to break away from relationships that are quite literally destroying you. I'm not sure I can convey how truly powerful this zine is, but believe me when I say that it is something that will stick with you for a long, long time. Highly recommended."
– Heather at Stranger Danger Distro
"This is a brave zine. This is a zine that makes me believe in the power of zines. This zine is powerful and raw and heartbreaking. You need to read this zine.
Clocking in at an impressive 114 pages, Stacey-Marie traces the lines of her five-year relationship with her abusive, alcoholic partner. She includes snippets from her extensive journals she kept throughout their relationship, looking back at the early warning signs, detangling the web of deception and manipulation he spun around her, and detailing how she prepared herself to leave him. She writes a lot about the psychology and tactics of abuse as well as a great deal about alcoholism and its impact on alcoholics and those who love them. It is a complex, messy, horrifying, and powerful narrative, and one that I believe is essential reading. Don't be scared off by the $10 price tag, it's well-worth every cent."
– KA at Portland Button Works
"Most of the zine I read with a tight chest. I've been there. Abusive relationship. Alcoholic. But it's the way Stacey writes. She just jumps in and she tells you and she is seriously a very good writer. This is zines. A few pages get very... dreamy, in the way Hermann Hesse does in Steppenwolf. I love this shit right here. Yes. Then, towards the end, Stacey gets free! I love this part. It's hard times, but it's love from friends. The zine is not just a small book story - it's also a good resource, lots of thoughtfulness as well. This zine is deep - raising issues of being the partner of the alcoholic, which are also fairly novel to me while reading painfully true and familiar, as well as what happens when you embark in a certain kind of - heavy gravitational fields - punk love gone bad - but what do we know? It's our lives. Stacey writes about life. I would say she is a female writer groundbreaker in old school techniques while keeping it fresh." [edited for clarity]
– China Martens at The Future Generation
Phases of the Moon #4: What Matters Most Is How Well You Walk Through the Fire
December 2010, 8 pages, ~quarter letter size. US$1ppd. (OOP)
5 black&white photos & a short essay about supporting my partner through a frightful alcohol detox. It's also about having some kind of faith and being defiantly hopeful in the face of utter madness. & as a brag-worthy anecdote, the essay was rejected from a more professional literary quarterly for being "too intense."
excerpt: "Once while he slept in a drunken haze I scrawled my prayers in pen on his sharp angelic shoulderblades, as if these things matter. There was a time when my Holy Signs spoke to me: the Moon, the Key, the Hand, the numbers Ten and Twenty-Three. I thought I could read the future in my coffeegrounds and chewed cuticles; I thought that these things mattered, like tubes and wires connecting everything to everything else,..."
reviews: "Stacey-Marie once again writes an honest zine that makes you feel possibly uncomfortable but hopeful. She includes photographs alongside an essay about assisting a friend through alcohol detox & the emotional toll being there for someone else can have on us. In the end we're all left wondering if we matter."
– Taryn Hipp at Philly Feminist Zine Fest
"In her latest zine, Stacey-Marie shares a single story. And oh boy, it's a powerful one. She writes of someone she loves having an alcohol induced seizure & the aftermath in the hospital. But she shares more than just the details of what happened to him. Instead, she also explains what it's like, for her, to watch this take place, knowing that it's happened several times before. Stacey-Marie's writing is gorgeous & striking, & I often found myself pausing at the end of a paragraph to take it in. It's a short, heartbreaking tale of what it's like to love & support an alcoholic, and I appreciate Stacey-Marie's willingness to share it."
– Heather at Stranger Danger Distro
Phases of the Moon #3: take yr bones apart & put them back together
February 2008, 28 pages, half legal size. US$4ppd. (OOP)
twelve short stories & photographs, one for each month of 2007. the underlying theme is mainly that of space, as related to home, travelling, relationships, limits, love, friendship, comfort, security, support, and asserting one's self. there are stories about alcohol, lady-love, revisiting childhood landmarks, going on tour, living in a punkhouse, packratting, new orleans, and hesitant involvement with boys.
excerpt: "It took a few years, hopping from couch to cheap room, from city to city, wandering & backtracking until my feet felt even tentatively planted in the ground. Another six months to begin stretching vines & growing roots. Forcing myself to survive the winter although even minor emergencies sent me on walks to the bus station with only my wallet & a pack of cigarettes in my coat pocket. Finally, I no longer feel the urge to run for escape every time I get stressed out & anxious, but even still, I have an envelope of money & a change-of-address form hidden in my desk. Just in case. I feel I am approaching the asymptote of total comfort, but experience has taught me to keep the possibility tucked in the back of my mind that everything could fall apart at any moment, easily, without warning, without apology or consideration. It's more a sense of preparedness than worry; I don't expect things to fall apart, but I know that they can, and in my fuckedup cynical view, I know I can't depend on anyone but myself for a sense of safety & security."
reviews: "This issue of Stacey-Marie's zine is subtitled 'Take Yr Bones Apart & Put Them Back Together' which doesn't really make sense until you read her zine. If you aren't familiar with POTM it is the most honest perzine you'll ever read. It tears at your heart & makes you ache but not always in a painful way. Stacy-Marie is able to write about things like travel & communal living in a way that makes me want to do them again, even all these years after swearing I never would. She writes often about relationships including her relationship (& fear involved) with her birth daughter whom she gave up for adoption. I've been a huge fan of this zine for so long. It's text-heavy & heart-heavy, it's everything you want in a perzine."
– Taryn Hipp at Philly Feminist Zine Fest
"each of stacey-marie's zines are really different from each other, but they're all really good. i love it when a zinester can make such unique zines on each outing, focusing on the things that interest them most at the moment. that's the kind of approach that keeps zine-making interesting & exciting. stacey-marie has decided to use her most recent issue as a forum for her photography. she re-prints a bunch of her photographs here, big enough to take up a page each by themslves so you can see a lot of detail even in black & white photocopies, & wrote a story (all true, all in great personal zine style) to go with each one. she writes about her relationship with her boyfriend (not in a boring emo way; in a slice of life charming way), the new punk house she helped start & the rhythms she developed with her roommates so everyone can take care of each other, stories about her friends, stories about going out drinking, squatting in new orleans, a friend's wedding ceremony in pittsburgh, living wth children & how it changes the dynamic of a punk house, & a lot more. the stories here could stand on their own—they're really evocative & well-written. but contextualized with the photographs—something about the images just makes you care more. i was very impressed by the maturity of this zine. stacey-marie writes about her interest in documentation, & that really comes through with this project."
– Ciara at Learning to Leave a Paper Trail Distro
"Stacey-Marie invites us back into her occassionally beautiful world of punk houses, secret lovers, alcohol-fueled adventures and powerful friends. She bridges her two loves together, photography and writing, into this latest issue. It is stunning to look at, while her writing transports us to a world filled with possibility and forgotten disappointments. From going 'home' to finding a home, getting married and going on tour, Stacey-Marie delivers another dreamy issue. Subtitled, 'take yr bones apart & put them back together,' Stacey-Marie seems to do just that. Each piece of writing is seperate from the next, but it all bridges together her hopes, struggles and dreams in accordance with her political ideals. Stunning photographs and gorgeous writing."
– LB at Stranger Danger Distro
Phases of the Moon #2.5: living on a dead end street
March 2007, 20 pages, quarter letter size. US$1.50ppd. (OOP)
pieced together from journal entries & letters & photographs made during mardi gras in new orleans, february 2007
excerpt: "coffee in the morning, with vanilla soymilk to the brim & two heaping scoops of thick crystal cane sugar. i only just started drinking coffee this week, and despite years of lamenting the inherent uncoolness of my inability to consume such a bitter beverage, it feels perfectly natural & necessary now. rattling bones, scratchy voice, black mold & rats in the walls. lately, my fingers have been itching for a cigarette—purely an oral fixation, a way for my fingers to calm my twitching nerves; i've never smoked a cigarette in my life. yes, i could live in this city, now. with its cracked sidewalks and defiant post-katrina survival stories still spraypainted in secret codes on front doors."
Phases of the Moon #2: i'm ready to grow young again
January 2007, 36 pages, quarter letter size. US$3ppd. (OOP)
reconciling my past with the present, resisting burnout, recapturing the fearlessness & wonderment of childhood, dealing with post-partum/adoption grief & depression, leaving chicago, new romance in georgia.
excerpt: "David & I are sitting on his front porch. It is January and it is sixty-five degrees outside and I am happy to be back in the dirty sweet south. We are listening to Gogol Bordello: in the old times, in the old times, in the old times it was not! a! crime! He's smoking; I'm reading Howard Zinn. 'We should build a time machine,' he says. I put my book down & look purposefully at the precarious stack of cardboard boxes in the corner. 'Absolutely!' This is a year of yesses, and I speak in absolutes."
reviews: "I very much enjoyed this personal zine about one girl's experience trying to find herself throughout all her trials and tribulations, traveling, having a baby (and giving it up for adoption), boys, depression, confusion, etc. Brief yet well written, sad but hopeful, touching and engaging, a bittersweet treat!"
– P.5! at Zine World #25.5
"stacey-marie seems a little more in her element in this second issue of her most recent foray into personal zines, which is subtitled 'i'm ready to grow young again' & features a cover drawing of a tree swing. text-heavy & told in one long narrative block that is broken up into chronological & thematic chunks, this zine finds stacey back in athens, where she gave birth to her daughter. the first issue of this zine contains details on that & her decision to give the baby up in an open adoption. stacey & her partner have since moved back to athens from chicago to be closer to their child & some writing here is about the aftermath of the adoption decision, including some hard questions about potentially regretting the choice. but there are also stories here about the anarchist & punk scenes stacey has immersed herself in now that she is in georgia, interspersed with childhood recollections on topics like growing up catholic, body image & shame, & being a voracious reader. these reminiscences are used as guide posts as stacey struggles to figure out her politics & come to terms with her chosen sub-cultural identities. this is a pretty sweet & engaging perzine in the style of a person doing some pretty challenging self-reflection & trying to have fun along the way."
– Ciara at Learning to Leave a Paper Trail Distro
"This is a terrific follow-up to Phases of the Moon #1, the zine written about an unexpected pregnancy from both the father's and mother's perspectives. In #2, Stacey Marie writes alone and compiles a very thoughtful and well-written personal essay about 'growing young again,' following the birth of her daughter and process of giving her up for adoption. This essay includes an introspective look at Stacey Marie's desire to move and relocate and travel and celebrate life. A very engaging personal zine."
– Taylor at Parcell Press
"This second issue deals with the aftermath of Stacey's decision to put her child up for adoption. We find Stacey reclaiming the forms of empowerment she knew in her youth, relearning to love her body, and standing up for herself. Her writing is filled with nostalgia and dreams for the future. It is text-heavy, well-written and pretty inspiring. It seems like leaving Chicago was good for Stacey, as this issue of zine seems like she is in a much better place in Georgia. This is about her time to relearn, to enjoy her youth again, to stop regretting the decisions she has made and to DO THINGS FOR HERSELF. It is really good to read this and feel her regaining her passion for writing, for her new home, and for her life. And you can't but help feel re-energized by her decision to start sticking up for herself."
– LB at Stranger Danger Distro
Phases of the Moon #1: RESISTANCE IS FERTILE
September 2006, 92 pages / rev. October 2007, 72 pages, half letter size. US$4ppd. (OOP)
more than a year had passed since my last zine, and in that year much had changed. specifically, my then-partner zan & i gave birth to a baby girl and subsequently gave her up for adoption. this zine is a chronicle of that year, written from the perspectives of both zan and myself. aside from describing the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects of pregnancy, childbirth, and adoption, we also touch on many other topics in this account, including: feminism, the medical (mis)management of birth, poverty, the history of adoption, radical parenting, birth control, making reproductive choices readily available to women, and cultivating supportive and strong communities. the revised second edition (October 2007) includes a Frequently Asked Questions section which clarifies & explains many important issues raised in the original writing, & contains a 1-Year-Later epilogue describing the post-adoption grieving/healing/growing process. also it's been retyped and laid out on a computer for easier readability.
excerpt: "One night, in December, we felt the baby move. It was small and strange, a nervous butterfly deep in my gut. Alex & I laid on the couch, our hands on my belly. I cried a little, quietly, because it was beautiful & terrifying. 'I have a baby in here,' I thought. 'This is real.'"
reviews: "This zine is co-written by the two birth parents of a child, recounting how they got together, got pregnant, gave their daughter up for adoption, and how they felt about it afterwards. Stacey Marie Piotrowski and Alexander (no surname given) switch off in serif and sans-serif text, alternating perspectives on the experience. It's a cool way to tell a story, and an interesting tale.
"The two write from their background as traveling punks, and from an anti-authoritarian perspective on childbirth, parenting, and how to make a good life. In addition to talking about pregnancy and childbirth, there's really good writing on traveling, being down & out, feeling vulnerable, imposing on others, and doubting your values and choices. I found those parts really hit home for me, despite my lack of experience with baby creation. Pietrowski [sic] writes thoughtfully about how the experiences affected her:
"'i still have travelling plans, but I've put down roots and stabilized myself, mentally and physically. instead of uprooting my life every time i want to go somewhere else, ive realized i can just branch out, stretch fingers like vines all over this world even as i'm staying still. so i guess this is growing up'.
"This zine was originally published in 2006, and was re-printed in 2007 with an epilogue addressing feedback they've since received and explaining how some of their views have since evolved. I liked this, because the writing in this zine occasionally comes off pretty judgmental about things like veganism and what kinds of childbirth and lifestyle in general are and aren't empowering.
"That said, while I sometimes found this zine a little bit moralistic, the authors stress that they are trying above all to document their experiences, and the- often strong- feelings they had about them. The detailed, candid account of the birth of their daughter was really interesting for me, as someone who struggles to imagine what it'd be like to give birth or support a partner who was giving birth."
– Lily Pepper at Zine Reviews
"I could NOT put this zine down. I stayed up two hours past my bedtime to finish this real life story. Stacey and Zan detail how they managed to deal with an unwanted pregnancy and how it changed them and their relationship forever. It is gut-wrenchingly honest, poignant, and a study in courage. Phases frankly discusses their struggles with family, punk friends, the medical establishment, and poverty. It was great to get both female and male perspectives. I couldn't wait to find out how it all turned out. This zine isn't just for people who are pregnant or have kids. It's for anyone who understands how scary and confusing it can be to listen to one's own voice and try to live authentically. Stacey added a frequently asked questions section in the back and a suggested reading list. Amazing. Highly recommended."
– Anu at Zine World #25.5
Chosen as one of 2006's Best Zines Ever!
"Of all the zines I read this year, this one touched me the most. Perhaps because I have never read anyone write a zine about open adoption before, or to go so in depth about the time during pregnancy, as well as birth, with a couple's perspective. I think this zine raises many questions, as well as sharing experiences for growth; and might be of particular interest to young twenty-year-olds in the anarcho-punk scene: as that is the scene they travel in, as well as anyone who is interested in Pro-choice issues. (For one, because adoption is a less explored choice in radical parenting literature. But also because Stacey Marie examines factors, such as poverty and lack of community support, which impact a woman's right to choice.) In a way, I think 'Resistance is Fertile' is also a coming of age story (there are many coming of age stories along our life, don't you think?). Groundbreaking, sometimes heartbreaking, brave, honest, beautiful, radical and well written."
– China Martens of The Future Generation, in Best Zine Ever! #5
Chosen as Zine of the Week, Nov 26 - Dec 3, 2006 at The Unofficial SUNY New Paltz Traveling Zine Library!
"Stacey Marie begins this zine with 'This is our story about the year we got pregnant & made the decision to give our baby up for adoption.' And what a interesting, thought provocing, emotional, amazing year it was. Stacey Marie and her partner Alexander write about this year from their prospectives and how they both precieved these life altering events. What was especially interesting to me was when Stacey would write about her feelings toward the medical industry and it's relationship with women. At times this zine is heart wrenching and humbling. I recommend this zine full heartedly!"
"Stacey Marie and Alexander take turns writing their 'story about the year we got pregnant & made the decision to give our baby up for adoption.' This is a highly engaging, interesting read about a very personal and shared experience. The intentions in writing this zine — to reach out to other young parents, to explain adoption, and to express and explain the thoughts and feelings of the entire process — are so well-executed that this zine is very difficult to come away from untouched. Recommended."
– Taylor at Parcell Press
"Where do I begin when describing this zine? There's sort of a lot going on. Phases of the Moon is essentially a journaled-out recollection of the pregnancy and birthing process. The zine alternates its entries, allowing both Stacie [sic] and Alexander to give their own versions, of each event. Having two perspectives on such an important experience gives a full range of thoughts and feelings, as Stacie [sic] and Alexander, a pair of homeless vegan punk rock kids, try to learn about life and make some of the most difficult choices they've ever had to make. Excitement, fear, anticipation, depression, joy, and every other emotion seem to make an appearance at some point as they work their way through the pregnancy, the birthing, and the ultimate decision to give their child up for adoption. All these things make this zine very personal. But at the same time there is a lot of information packed in here which gives the zine a very political slant as well. Information and discussion about the medical industry, the ways in which pregnant women are treated within a patriarchy, and other such topics pop up every few pages, forcing you to not only understand the specific situation of these two people, but also question the entire medical system in our country. This is one of the more unique zines I've read in awhile, and while some may not agree with all the decisions and opinions that take place within it, I think everyone can appreciate the chance to hear someone's story and think about some pretty important topics."
– Billy at Loop Distro
"Partners Stacey and Alexander document their emotions during Stacey's unintended pregnancy and the subsequent adoption of their daughter, in this text-heavy journal style zine. Really honest and insightful, the most open portrayal of reproductive options I have read in a while. This is a really powerful zine that even warmed my baby-hating heart. Not only does this zine open the door into Stacey and Alexander's relationship, it educates us on the adoption process, midwives, homebirthing and non-invasive fertility awareness methods. It criticizes our culture that restricts mothers' bodies and choices for home-delivery. It doesn't hold back for a second on the process of carrying the baby to term, even unabashedly sharing embarrassing details about doubts of strength and fecal matter. Expectant mothers, curious bystanders and general haters should get this zine!"
– LB at Stranger Danger Distro
"stacey-marie & alexander are a young anarchist punk couple who made this zine together as a document of their unexpected pregnancy & choice to give the baby up in an open adoption. in a very text-heavy typewritten account, they take turns explaining the whole process from the beginning: how they met, how they got pregnant, the options they ran through when they found out, how their relationship struggled during the pregnancy, settling on a birth plan, finding the couple that wound up taking the baby, the birth, the adoptive parents taking the baby home, & their eventual move to chicago. i decided to carry this zine because i have found that adoption as an option for coping with an unexpected pregnancy is not really discussed that much, but it can be just as wrenching or empowering as any other choice. essentially, i found the story unique & wanted to provide a forum for it. this is not an anti-abortion zine, although i do feel compelled to warn readers that there are a few passages that veer dangerously into anti-abortion sentiment while stacey-marie describes the decision-making process that inspired her to opt for adoption. although she takes great pains to assure the reader that she is not anti-abortion in the least, i still found my skin crawling a little bit. but if you take that part with a grain of salt & enjoy the story for what it is, it's really worth reading, especially for those folks with a particular interest in reproductive health, childbirth, alternative parenting, & the like. as a former midwifery student, there were definitely a few times when i had to put the zine down & take a few deep breaths. it's hard to listen to stories of seven-month pregnant ladies realizing they have absolutely no birth plan whatsoever & newborn infants being fed soy formula. but hey, shit happens. consider it part-yarn, part-cautionary tale, if you wish. all the writing is quite engaging; stacey-marie's & alexander's personalities really shine through on to the page."
– Ciara at Learning to Leave a Paper Trail Distro
Ephemera #3: phases of the Moon
July 2005, 16 pages, quarter letter size. US$1.50ppd. (OOP)
this issue is about nostalgia, travelling, ghosts, & love. i wrote it in two days during my hitchhiking summer 2005.
excerpt: "We believe photographs are truth because no one wants to admit that the eye—even a mechanical eye—can betray the mind. No one likes to question what she clearly sees in front of herself. The brain, with its amazing capability to think about itself, fears incorrectly perceiving the truth. (The brain forgets, though, that Truth is not always static.) I ws afraid to try and photograph the ghost because my truth was that it wasn't made of a dead person, but of the undercurrent of tension we'd been transferring to one another. Instead I developed cemeteries and rock stars, lovers and lost cities, hanging photographs to dry at six o'clock in the morning when the birds sang and I felt so utterly drained."
Ephemera #2: the angels have been drinking
March 2005, 24 pages, quarter letter size. US$1.50ppd. (OOP)
this issue records my experience of mardi gras 2005 in new orleans.
excerpt: "Fred convinced me to cook a steak in my greatly intoxicated, easily-flammable state. There was only one frying pan...and it was full of congealed lard and day-old bacon. Needless to say I was quite nervous about the whole affair...but he explained that that's how southern cookin' is done, you just fry up whatever the hell's in the pan & it'll have to be delicious."
reviews: "A trip to New Orleans for Mardi Gras serves as the primary focus of this issue, which gives us a clearer picture of where we're going. With her rambling style, Stacey Marie tells stories of hanging out on the French Quarter, getting drunk with friends, watching bands play, and seeing the vibrant local color. This reads very much like a travel diary, and the attention to detail adds a great deal of richness. The photographs also add a great deal in conveying the experience of this trip. Stacey Marie's zine lives up to its title, encapsulating ephemeral experience into memories for the reader. For those who like reading of others' travel, this zine is very much worth a look."
– AR at Bibliotheque / Lunar Circuitry
Ephemera #1: space-time continuum
February 2005, 24 pages, quarter letter size. US$1.50ppd. (OOP)
this is a loosely-connected collection of tales linking the cities of pittsburgh, chicago, and new orleans.
excerpt: "My favorite moments of love are those in which restraint was required. The most intense moments are when the barrier is broken only slightly—when our fingers slip through that irrational NOmaybeit's-not-right and the fingertips touch...my bitten bloody fingernails on his perfect skin. I am wanting. That desire is all-powerful. The longing is what I want; the hands, sidelong glances and secrets, each word charged with significance, real or imagined. Neat, precise handwriting due to sleep-deprivation and daydreaming. Give me this perpetual lack of consummation I WANT IT. Lines and hips and just one kiss."
reviews: "As the subtitle suggests, this zine is concerned primarily with time and space. In each brief vignette, Stacey Marie tells stories of places she's lived in and memories that meant a great deal to her. In 'Old Uncle Hawkeye,' her first tattoo recalls her first visit to a tattoo parlour at he age of 8: 'At the time, I was unaware that tattooing could be a legitimate profession, so it was only natural for us to be parking the car in a weed-choked yard surrounding a run-down shack. I asked no questions while I gazed in awe at the flash sheets taped to the wood-panelled walls of...some guy's living room.' She tells more stories of love and growing up, with a rambling stream-of-consciousness style that manages to be engaging and lyrical, though sometimes lacking in focus. The briefness of each passage makes for quick reading overall. This is text-heavy and the quality of the photographs included is rather wanting (I suspect printing issues), but the intimacy and strength of the writing makes for good reading."
– AR at Bibliotheque / Lunar Circuitry